


Simply Touched

by greendoodle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Comfort/Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, hearing loss, very light smut but only cause it was my first time writing smut XD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 02:46:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8083669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greendoodle/pseuds/greendoodle
Summary: “I’m sorry.”

  Akaashi didn’t hear it. He only stood there, numb, unfeeling, and mostly unhearing, staring blankly up at the dark sky above him. Bokuto felt his eyes swell with tears and his heart break as he repeated over and over, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…’

  “It was all my fault, Akaash.”
 or: Akaashi loses his hearing and a part of his world dies.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hey, hey!! :D  
> Before anyone throws tomatoes at me, I just wanna say I'm sorry for my disappearance over the summer and lack of activity. I had a lot of personal issues along with a bunch of health problems and I'm still going through a lot of that right now, but I'm surviving. OuO/ School started back up for me so don't expect TOO frequent of updates, but I will definitely try to get something else written before winter break. XDD
> 
> Anyways! This is just a little idea I had all summer.. I just thought hearing loss would be more fitting for the precious owls, haha~ Hope you guys like! This is the longest fic I've ever writen;; and I dedicate it to all my lovely BokuAka enthusiasts, ^^ <3
> 
> (How ironic I upload this a day before Bokuto's bday)  
> 

Bokuto-san’s voice.

It’s rough, noisy, deafening, and also… the best sound Akaashi has ever heard in his life.

Of course, he’s loud. Excitable. His voice gets high. His voice gets low. When he yells, he yells with his entire body, his entire soul. When he cries, he cries knowing he’s alive, he cries knowing it’ll pass, he cries with all he’s got, at the top of his lungs. And when he laughs—god, when he laughs, it’s as if the noise penetrates the deepest part of your being and shakes you to your very core. It sends shivers down the younger boy’s spine.

Akaashi was definitely someone you could consider to be a music connoisseur if there was even a term like that that existed. He loved listening to sounds in the still silence of the night or even in the calm that followed the sun’s first rays. When the world sang out, asking to be heard, Akaashi stopped and listened, intently focusing on capturing all the harmonies played through the twittering birds, the gurgling creeks, the soft hum as cars zoomed down on the streets below his bedroom window. Everything had a certain music to it whether it be the crinkling of a wrapper or the clicking of pens, Akaashi loved it all. He even asked his parents if he could learn to play some violin. He wasn’t particularly good at it, but it kept him occupied on the lonely, rainy nights. There was something about music that resonated with the fiber of his very being and Akaashi loved feeling vulnerable in its embrace.

Yet, there was something special about Bokuto’s voice. Akaashi could probably listen to his upperclassman’s voice for hours. The only time he didn’t like Bokuto’s voice was when it was small. When it was quiet and low in the midst of his mood swings, it made Akaashi tremble, uncomfortable. When his voice was small, Bokuto was small. When he was small, Akaashi felt unsafe, like something was out of place. He felt protected and secure behind that booming voice, behind that glaring confidence, behind the man everyone admired as the team ace.

And yet, today…

“Bokuto-san, please speak up. It’s hard to hear you.”

Immediate silence spread across the room.

Akaashi looked up from his bag and found the rest of his teammates staring at him in confusion. The volleyball team had finally finished their drills for the day and were grabbing their belongings to head home. Bokuto had leapt up, yelling about going to go eat yakiniku together when Akaashi had made that deadpan statement.

Finally, Konoha spoke for everyone as he raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“What’s up Akaashi? It’s not like you to not be paying attention. Bokuto said he wanted to grab some dinner as usual,”

Akaashi blinked once. Twice, to dispel the doubts in the back of his head, and thrice before turning back to his bag and zipping up the tangled earphones, sweaty knee pads, and damp towels inside. “My mistake,” he mumbled, picking up his belongings and slugging them over his shoulder.

The rest of the team exchanged looks as they watched the flustered second-year start heading out the gym’s double doors. Then they grinned wide and followed after him, throwing quick jabs at each other, laughter echoing in the air, Bokuto in particular yelling out a couple ‘hey hey hey’s before throwing his right arm around his setter’s shoulders.

Akaashi smiled in exasperation, inviting his senior to drag him along as the Fukurodani team walked in sync towards the nearest yakiniku restaurant. Although it was unusual, he was probably just tired from a long day at school and at practice and didn’t hear Bokuto correctly. That must be it.

“You’re heavy, Bokuto-san,” the second year mused as he received a yelp of surprise from the third year next to him. He felt the corners of his lips turn up at this, but continued to hold his neutral gaze as he followed the others towards the sinking sunset.

\--

That wasn’t the last time Akaashi wasn’t able to focus.

At first, it wasn’t too serious. Bokuto would yell across the hall asking the underclassman to join him for lunch, but unless he planted himself right in front of the younger boy, he did not receive a response. When Bokuto sent him a text message, Akaashi didn’t realize until the upperclassman confronted him about not responding – albeit through a depressive spell where he’d whine to the second-year, ‘Aghaaaashiii… are you mad? You didn’t respond to the cool owl emoji I found the other day…’ When Bokuto called for a toss during practice, Akaashi didn’t notice until he had already sent the ball flying in the opposite direction.

It wasn’t just with Bokuto either.

When the teacher called on him to read a passage from their textbook in class, he would only jolt up on the third “Akaashi, are you there?” before unsettlingly brushing back his mess of curls to quietly follow the professor’s instructions. When his parents called him down for supper, he didn’t respond until his older sister was sent to fetch him. He got reprimanded several times by his violin teacher for not paying attention while reading the cords, his notes off tune. And the most pressing issue of them all—he had started to run to school late because he would sleep past his alarm unintentionally.

He seemed to grow quieter and more distant day by day and Akaashi was starting to realize something was very VERY wrong. Unfortunately, to the second year’s alarm, he wasn’t the only one who began to catch that there was a problem.

“Akaashi, are you okay?”

Akaashi flinched at the hand that rested on his shoulder and he looked up to see Bokuto looking down at him eyes full of concern. It was lunchtime and the bell had rung. He pursed his lips together momentarily, cursing himself for not hearing it.

Sighing, shaking his head to reassure his upperclassman, he looked up at Bokuto with tired eyes and forced smiles. “I’m fine, Bokuto-san.”

“You sure?” Bokuto asked, stepping back slightly to allow the shorter boy to leave his chair. “You’ve been a bit out of it lately, I think.”

As Akaashi stood up from his seat, he glanced at those golden eyes momentarily before directing his gaze to focus on gathering up his school materials. ‘So he’s noticed.’

It had been several weeks since he felt something was off and he was hoping nobody else would question his strange behavior. Of course it had to be Bokuto-san who noticed. They were always together so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he did. Even if Akaashi was generally the quieter of the two, the younger boy was probably still acting more mute than usual with his increasing lack of responses in every day conversation.

“I’m alright,” Akaashi pressed, earning an eyebrow furrow from his upperclassman. “I’m just a bit tired.”

“Oh,” Bokuto replied, eyes narrowed in deep thought.

As Akaashi slung his bag over his shoulder, Bokuto suddenly grasped both his shoulders tightly. Startled by the touch, Akaashi looked up at him with wide, inquisitive eyes.

Bokuto grinned happily in response to seeing the younger boy’s face. “You know what would cheer you up?”

Akaashi felt the corners of his mouth turn up, but fought to suppress it. “What’s that, Bokuto-san?”

Bokuto laughed loudly, as if the answer was obvious. The sound was so clear, so strong and powerful. It resounded across the walls, sending Akaashi’s heart aflutter.

Was it really Bokuto who was holding onto him or was it Akaashi who was holding on to Bokuto’s assurance, tenacity, his laughter? And more importantly… Who even laughed like that? So wholly, so completely with total abandon.

“Volleyball!” the older man exclaimed, snapping Akaashi out of his trance.

Akaashi paused for a moment before sliding out of the man’s grip and heading towards the door. “Bokuto-san, of course we’re going to play. There’s practice after school.”

Ignoring the protest escaping Bokuto’s lips, Akaashi turned around. “Not to mention, wouldn’t volleyball just make me more tired?”

He heard Bokuto cry out as if struck by a lightning bolt at this sudden realization. Akaashi let his lips turn up at this as he walked out the door, heading towards the rooftop where they spent their breaks together.

He just needed to hold out a little bit longer. Bokuto didn’t need to know.

\--

“Something IS wrong, isn’t it?”

Akaashi jumped, half naked, pulling his shirt over his head in the corridors of the locker room. He immediately looked away from his upperclassman, clenching his fists over the cloth slightly. “What do you mean, Bokuto-san?”

“Well, I mean—” Bokuto said, throwing his hands in the air. “You don’t listen to me anymore and you don’t respond to anything I say or do,” He placed his palms on his hips and frowned, his stuff in disarray on the floor. “I’m worried about you.” He focused his gaze on the metal bench. “And… I’m worried you think I’m… I’m annoying.”

“I’m FINE, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi retorted, hoping he didn’t sound as strained as he was. Judging by the sudden jolt that coursed through Bokuto’s back, he was louder than usual. Akaashi quickly grabbed a towel to hide his face that was flushed with embarrassment at his unusual volume and proceeded to speak more gently. “And you’re not annoying. I’m going to head to the shower room first.”

Bokuto watched as Akaashi made his way across the room towards the showers. Without looking back, he slammed the door of the stall behind him with a loud clang that failed to reach Akaashi’s ears. However, the coldness of the gesture sent a gust of chilling air through Bokuto’s heart and he dejectedly watched as the slender silhouette in the booth started undressing. Once the faucet was turned and the water started pouring down, Bokuto decided to pack up his bags and head home alone.

Akaashi didn’t notice his absence until he was long gone.

That night when he got home, Akaashi sat on the floor in the dark, and pulled the strings on his violin as hard as he could without snapping it. There was a resounding twang that echoed through the room, a red mark showing on Akaashi’s finger where he had pulled it.

He could hardly hear it. Akaashi curled into himself, eyes wide, knees to his chest. His vision blurred and he drifted off to sleep in the silence alone.

\--

  
_“Sometimes you just have to sing in the rain and hope that your voice is louder than the thunder.”_ – Selea. D

\--

 

“You can’t hear anything, can you?!”

Akaashi bolted at this accusation from Bokuto who had apparently appeared out of thin air in front of the younger boy to scream directly into Akaashi’s ear. His yell set off a wave of students covering their ears across the hallway and consequently shooting Bokuto dirty looks.

It was after school a month after Akaashi himself had started to notice the subtle changes in his hearing. He had desperately tried to hide these problems, but failed miserably. His peers had all realized something was wrong, but since Akaashi avoided the question whenever it was brought up, the actual issue was never brought to light. Of course Bokuto had to be the one to break the silence, quite literally.

Akaashi stared out at the window of the second floor, watching the rain fall steadily. It was almost winter and the clouds gathered more frequently nowadays. The gentle pit-pat of the rain resounded through the halls of his school. It was muffled, muted, as if someone had forcibly thrown a pair of earmuffs on his ears and refused to withdraw their grip on them. It pained him being unable to hear that sound he loved anymore.

Suddenly, a hand laid itself gently on Akaashi’s shoulders. He looked up to see Bokuto staring at him, eyes full of concern, pleading, begging the younger man to tell him what was wrong. Akaashi sighed, the bags under his eyes showing, giving Bokuto an all-knowing, exasperated smile.

“I know,” he said, voice nearly absent, placing his hand on top of Bokuto’s and looking away. “I’m sorry.”

What did he know though? Akaashi didn’t know anything for certain. He had a hunch as to why he had started to have trouble hearing things based on the several doctor’s appointments he had had, but he didn’t want to believe it. Akaashi didn’t really know anything. He himself knew that at least.

Bokuto seemed confused, a bit nervous, but nodded resolutely at this gesture. Akaashi squeezed the older boy’s hand and taking it in his, slowly started making his way out of the school. The walk towards the front of campus was agonizing, brutal. He could feel his hands grow sweaty intertwined with Bokuto’s, he could feel himself licking his lips over and over, and refusing to look anywhere but forward despite the fact his legs were yelling at him to run as far as he could away from here. He held on to Bokuto’s hand rigidly, feeling the rough, weathered fingers against his own skinny, boney, shaking ones.

Finally, they reached the entrance and Akaashi pulled away, looking at the rain pouring down in waves, lightening flickering in the distance. They both stood underneath the school’s awning, the storm getting louder and more violent as the minutes ticked by.

Without warning, there was a flash of lightning that temporarily blinded the two accompanied by a crash of thunder that caused at least one of them to jump. He didn’t know what possessed him, but soon after, Akaashi ran forward, laughing, screaming, kicking up puddles of water as he went as a very perplexed and worried Bokuto stiffened at the younger boy’s recklessness.

Turning back, Akaashi cupped his hands together to hopefully amplify his voice over the weather. “BOKUTO-SAN!!”

Bokuto, taken aback by the sudden enthusiasm smiled weakly, stepping into the storm himself to join his kouhai. He started hesitantly, but broke out into a sprint, taking off his jacket hoping to provide some kind of shelter from the rain for the younger man. But, before he could reach him, Akaashi had started yelling again.

“BOKUTO-SAN!!” He screamed, still spinning, still splashing, still laughing, refusing to look his upperclassman directly in the eye. “I’M GOING DEAF, BOKUTO-SAN!!”

Bokuto stopped abruptly, his eyes widening, his jacket crumpled in his hands.

“THE DOCTOR SAID I LOST IT PROBABLY DUE TO BEING IN A LOUD ENVIRONMENT! I TOLD HIM THAT WASN’T POSSIBLE SINCE I’M FAIRLY QUIET MOST OF THE TIME.”

Despite the rigidness in his stance, Bokuto smiled genuinely at this, knowing exactly how reserved his setter could be. Akaashi continued, only the side of his profile visible to Bokuto.

“HE ASKED ME IF I’M AROUND ANY LOUD PLACES OR PEOPLE. I MENTIONED YOU, BUT I TOLD HIM YOUR VOICE NEVER BOTHERED ME. REALLY, IT NEVER HAS. BUT HE SAID… But… he… said…”

Akaashi suddenly froze, looking up at the dreary sky, raindrops falling rapidly on his upturned face.

“He said…” his voice was small again, nearly inaudible in the rain. His shoulders started to shake, and now he couldn’t begin to distinguish the water that fell from his eyes from the ones that fell from the heavens. “He said… he said I shouldn’t stay around you if I want my hearing back… he said it was probably your fault… but, I don’t… I don’t believe it… I didn’t want to tell you… I’m sorry…”

He went silent, standing motionless in the middle of the street, shaking, shivering in the cold, relentless downpour. He slowly brought his hands up to his eyes, rubbing desperately at the tears that continued to flow ceaselessly. “He’s wrong… I’m sorry… he’s definitely wrong… he’s got to be wrong…”

They stood like that for what seemed like ages, Akaashi letting the tears fall steadily from his face, shoulders lifted to wipe away the water and hide a face he was sure he didn’t want anyone to see. A face he knew was broken and irreparable.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bokuto move. Was he moving away or was he coming closer? Did the upperclassman even hear all that? He didn’t want to make the older boy feel any worse than how he must be feeling now.

But, against Akaashi’s expectations, strong, gentle arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. A face cradled into the crook of his shoulder and it was as if Akaashi had entered a room with a crackling fireplace, warm, safe, and enough to fill the emptiness in his heart. He stood there, hands limp by his sides, still crying, still wet, still miserable, but with someone beside him. Someone physically there to alleviate the pain.

“Akaashi,” Bokuto whispered, not wanting to do more damage than what he thought he had already done. His voice cracked halfway through the name, but he ignored it and drew the younger boy even closer still to him. “I’m sorry.”

Akaashi didn’t hear it. He only stood there, numb, unfeeling, and mostly unhearing, staring blankly up at the dark sky above him. Bokuto felt his eyes swell with tears and his heart break at the lack of response and began repeating over and over, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…’

“It was all my fault, Akaash.”

His grip got tighter.

_I’m sorry._

\--

How long had it been since he had last seen Bokuto so closely?

Although it had only been a few weeks, it definitely felt as if it could have been over several months. Okay, he did see his upperclassman every day at practice, but whenever Akaashi played as setter, Bokuto always missed the tosses sent his way and even more peculiarly, didn’t even get into his usual dejected modes. In fact, Bokuto seemed to be actively avoiding Akaashi inside and outside of practice. He didn’t stay for extra practices anymore and refused to look the younger boy in the eye whenever the coach brought them over for a pep talk.

Akaashi certainly didn’t expect to see him here, fumbling with canned soup and corn in an employee’s uniform at the local supermarket.

“A-akaash??”

Akaashi smiled.

“Bokuto-san,”

“What’re you—?” The older man began, but was loudly interrupted by the clanging of metal as the items he was sorting began to roll off the shelves one by one. He winced and flushed visibly, looking nervously at Akaashi to see if the sound bothered him.

It didn’t.

Instead, Akaashi knelt down and began to pick up the cans that had fallen on the white marble floors. Wordlessly, Bokuto followed suit, tucking several into the pocket of the blue apron he wore, sneaking the occasional glance at the younger boy.

Finally, after all the cans were gathered, they stood up and without looking at one another began to organize the shelves once more. They worked together side by side, gently placing the canned goods into their designated places. Without thinking twice, Bokuto mumbled a quiet, ‘thanks.’

“You’re welcome, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s eyes widened as he looked back at Akaashi who was staring back at him, a soft look in his eyes.

“How did—??” he stammered.

“I got pretty good at reading lips… well, as long as I’m paying attention that is,” Akaashi shrugged, looking back at the rows of canned goods and resuming his shelving. ‘It’s a better hobby than lamenting over not being able to play the violin anymore,’ he thought miserably.

“O-oh,” Bokuto said, shoulders drooping.

“Can _I_ ask a question now?”

Bokuto stiffened, looking away. “S-sure! Go for it!”

“Why are you here?”

CLANK.

Another can fell from Bokuto’s hands. Leaning down, mumbling ‘butterfingers yaknow ahaha..’ Bokuto picked up Champbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup in a tight grip, his fingers nearly shaking.

“Bokuto-san, I’m sor—”

“Akaashi, um!” Bokuto yelped nervously, finally putting down the last of the store goods.

Akaashi blinked, putting down the cans in his hand on the shelf and prompting the older boy to continue.

“I’m, um…” Bokuto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head before deciding to stare Akaashi straight in the eyes. “I’m avoiding you.”

Akaashi fought back a laugh, quirking an eyebrow upwards in amusement. “Is that why we don’t eat lunch together anymore?”

“Uh,” Bokuto stammered, looking extremely embarrassed. “Yeah.”

“And why I hardly ever see you in the hallways anymore?”

“Uh... huh.”

“And why I don’t hear about those tests you fail?”

“Yeah—wait, no, what, AKAASSHIII…!” Bokuto whined, but immediately threw both hands over his mouth and timidly leaned back. “S-sorry.”

Akaashi shook his head, a sad smile on his lips.

“And the job?”

“Oh, I thought that’d be a good idea since I’ll be able to talk to you less if I’m working.” Bokuto grinned, a smile that didn’t quite reach his ears. “I didn’t realize I had this much extra energy until I stopped talking altogether so it… the job I mean, it helps.”

The two went quiet until Bokuto broke the silence by coughing roughly.

“I just… I didn’t want to make it worse you know?” Bokuto said, still a bit on edge, but less so now. “The doctor was probably right. I am really loud and kinda obnoxious and it’s really hard to tell me to be quiet so of course you’d lose your hearing if you’re around me all the time and I didn’t want that to happen and if you get even a little bit better then I can wait forever. Okay, maybe not forever because that’s a really long time, but I can wait if I need to—”

“I’m sorry I made you feel this way, Bokuto-san,”

Bokuto’s eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. “No, no!! It’s good you told me because now you can get better, right?? Being away from loud people helps I think??”

Akaashi smirked. “You obviously did your research.”

“I, uh…” Bokuto mouthed, a bit taken aback by the snide comment.

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said seriously, looking directly into the older boy’s eyes. “It’s impossible.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I can’t get my hearing back,”

“But…”

Akaashi shook his head again, this time resigned. “It’s half biological, Bokuto-san. My mother lost her hearing early too. Of course, it was a lot later than me, but,” he smiled and Bokuto’s heart broke. “What can you do, you know?”

Bokuto slumped over, knees touching his face and fingers covering his eyes. “I… I thought I was helping…”

Akaashi looked down at Bokuto’s small form and felt sick. His insides were churning, his eyes felt as if they were on the verge of leaking, his head throbbed from the pain. He had never seen him this small before and it scared him. He couldn’t hear what Bokuto was saying, but through the crack between his legs and his arms, he could see fat, tears streaming down the boy’s face.

“Bokuto-san… I…”

“I really thought… I was doing something right… Did I make it worse? I’m worthless. I’m no good. I’m sorry, Akaashi. I’m sorry… It’s my fault… Nothing I do is good…”

Akaashi couldn’t get all the words due to low visibility, but he picked out a few—namely ‘worthless,’ ‘nothing,’ and ‘sorry.’

“No, Bokuto-san, you’re not,” Akaashi said as calmly as he could although his head was screaming, yelling, telling him to get help because he was no help to his upperclassman in this situation. _I’m the one who’s worthless here._

He knelt down next to Bokuto and hesitantly reached out a hand to pat his back.

Bokuto flinched slightly at this motion, but he didn’t seem to be able to stop crying. They sat together in that aisle for what seemed like an eternity, Bokuto’s broad shoulders shaking, and Akaashi growing more and more scared, worried, as his hand rubbed the breadth of his back in what he hoped were therapeutic motions.

Eventually, a co-worker came to check if anything was wrong and although alarmed, he got the gist of the situation and politely asked Akaashi to escort Bokuto home.

Although Akaashi had seen plenty of dejected spells during their volleyball practices together, this was something else and he felt it needed to be addressed.

\--

Bokuto wasn’t at school the next day. At least, that’s what Akaashi gathered after asking his upperclassmen and looking across the expanse of the gymnasium for their team’s ace during practice.

After practice, Akaashi resolved to visit Bokuto at his house. He’d only been there a few times to help the older boy study, but he knew the way by heart.

He set off past the large suspension bridge a mile away from school and a long ways down from the house with two sunflowers to find the little two story home at the edge of the street. A bit apprehensive at being there uninvited, he rang the doorbell, hearing the muted noise chime inside the house. He stepped back, standing awkwardly in front of the entrance, hands behind his back, fingers on both right and left fingers intertwined, fiddling.

Soon, a woman Akaashi recognized as Bokuto’s mother answered the door. Her black hair with a single white streak was wrapped in a tight bun and she had a bright pink apron on with some yellow, faded slippers. She looked him from head to toe, and smiling, ushered him into the house.

“Akaashi-kun, how are you?”

Akaashi started to respond, but was cut off by a sharp gasp as Bokuto’s mother threw both her hands over her mouth.

“Oh my goodness, I apologize. Kou has told me you recently have had some kind of hearing problem.” She shook her head, crossing her arms, mumbling, “That was inconsiderate of me.”

“No, no, it’s fine, Bokuto-san,” he reassured, politely. “I’ve learned to read lips very well. Actually, I’m sorry for the sudden intrusion, but… could I see him?”

She smiled sadly, sitting down at the dining room table and inviting him to do the same. “I’m guessing this is about what happened the other day, yes?”

Akaashi nodded slowly, taking the tea that was poured and offered to him gratefully.

“Akaashi-kun,” she said firmly, learning across the table and looking the boy directly in the eye.

“Y-yes, ma’am?”

“Kou really likes you,”

“E-excuse me?”

She sat back down, her eyes bright, happy. “What I mean is… he really cares about you. He doesn’t want to do anything to bother you and he definitely doesn’t like to share his insecurities with you because he thinks of you so highly.”

Pouring herself a warm cup from the kettle, she took a small sip before continuing.

“About Kou… I’m sure you’ve noticed he has some trouble getting into the swing of things and he’s easily discouraged.”

Akaashi gave her a curt nod.

“Well, that’s only the least of it. He deals with a lot of anxiety. I think it mostly came from the divorce and my ex-husband’s overly high expectations of him, but,” looking downward, she squeezed the drink in her hand, knuckles whitening slightly. “He has these… panic attacks. They don’t always come, but when he’s feeling extremely overwhelmed and helpless, the crying… and the negative thoughts don’t stop. He curls up into himself, he apologizes over and over, and it’s not that he won’t see reason… he just can’t.”

She looked up at him. “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Blankly, Akaashi nodded, trying to soak in all this new information he was receiving. Slowly, he traced the grooves on the cup in front of him, looking almost mesmerized at the steam that was rising from the container. “I… I shouldn’t have told him. I should have just taken a few weeks off or gotten this checked out sooner or something…”

“Akaashi-kun?”

Akaashi jumped slightly, only now realizing he was starting to tear up, his eyes glazed over. He looked up slowly at Bokuto’s mother and she smiled back at him, sweetly. He could see where Bokuto got his smile from.

“Akaashi-kun,” she resumed. “You need to know I don’t blame you in the slightest. Not at all. Nobody knew it would turn out this way. Not you, not me, and certainly not Kou.”

Akaashi sniffed, taking a tissue from the box on the table to cover his face, slightly embarrassed at the expression he was showing her. “Is… is there anything I can do to help?”

“Well, he has been taking medication ever since getting into high school. It’s helped a lot, but it doesn’t make everything go away. Although…” She rubbed thoughtfully at her chin, a smile creeping up on her face. “He has been getting a lot better in the past two year or so.”

“So what’s been helping him?”

“You,”

Akaashi blinked, unsure if he was reading her lips correctly. “Me?”

She laughed lightly, taking another sip of her tea. “Well, a part of it at least. For starters, he actually got onto a volleyball team. He’s loved the sport all his life, but he was never good enough to meet the school criteria. Yet, right after getting into high school, he realized he wasn’t good enough to become a regular, especially on a team like Fukurodani. The upperclassmen were really demeaning. I don’t know if it was some sort of initiation process, but they gave him no break – physically and mentally. He wanted to quit at some point, but he loved the sport too much to leave.”

Her eyes had a far-off look as if remembering the struggle her son had gone through. Akaashi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but didn’t speak up, prompting her to continue.

“Then, his second year, he finally met someone who validated him—who worked with him to become better, stronger person than before. Of course, he was still a cheeky brat from time to time,” she mused, mentally elbowing Akaashi with her eyes. He flushed a deep red and looked down, suddenly finding the swirling contents of his drink particularly interesting.

“Can you imagine the look on his face as he talked about you? Someone actually wanted to toss to him and was willing to stay after to practice. Someone believed in him and didn’t think less of him despite his shortcomings,” she sighed, a content expression on her face. “Someone that supported him in everything he did.”

“I… It really wasn’t that incredible,” Akaashi mumbled, sheepishly looking up at her. “He is my senpai after all. I kind of had to listen to him.”

She laughed out loud, leaning across the table to smack him on the shoulder. “There’s that wit of yours! Hey, hey, if you cared half as much, you’d have abandoned him long ago.”

Akaashi shrunk under the gesture. “That’s…”

“Besides,” she continued, smirking slightly. “No pressure. It’s not like you’re a cure-all, Akaashi-kun. He still struggles with his anxious feelings every day. He worries and gets jittery and feels worthless. Sometimes he coops himself up in his room all weekend. And yet, he’s still fighting. He’s just gotten a lot better at being able to cope with someone to cheer him onward.”

“Y-yeah…” Akaashi responded, feeling a bit lighter. “I’m… I’m glad.”

“Mom?”

The two looked up at the voice coming from the staircase. Bokuto was there on the third or fourth step down, huddled in a large blanket patterned with blue and green owls, dark circles under his eyes, squinting in the light of the living room. “Mom, who are you talking to—”

Bokuto froze upon seeing Akaashi’s form at the table, eyes slowly running over the younger boy and his mother to the cups in their hands. “Akaashi…?”

Akaashi began to get up, but before he was able to, Bokuto’s mother gave Akaashi’s right shoulder a small pat before leaping up, pushing in her chair, and loudly declaring,

“Ahhh, how the time flies! I gotta go pick up some groceries, but I will be RIGHT back, okay, Kou?” She winked up at him and after grabbing the coat, wallet, and keys by the door, left without a single trace.

There was a silence that persisted for what seemed to be an eternity before Akaashi stood up and walked towards Bokuto who visibly stiffened at this motion.

“Bokuto-san,” he began, placing a single foot on the stairs and shooting him an inquisitive look. “May we talk?”

“S-sure! Uh…” he looked around frantically, suddenly noticing the blanket on his shoulders and blushing madly. “I… uh… you know… my room.”

Akaashi didn’t catch most of what he said through the stammers, but noticing the word ‘room,’ he nodded and waited for the older boy to lead the way.

They trailed upstairs, Bokuto’s blanket providing a considerable distance between the two as it dragged across the wooden floor. Finally, they reached a moderately-sized room with a bed, a school desk, a small coffee table, and an assortment of snacks littered throughout the floor. Akaashi sat down on the floor at the coffee table and looked up at his upperclassman who was sitting himself quite awkwardly on his bed.

“Bokuto-san, I—”

“Akaashi, sorry,” Bokuto blurted, retracting even further into his sheets. “I was really lame. You really needed me, but I panicked and it was stupid and I just stayed home because I didn’t want to make it worse…”

Akaashi smiled softly. “Bokuto-san, I can’t read your lips if you’re going to become one with your comforter.”

Like a daisy popping out of fresh snow, Bokuto’s reappeared from the depths of his blanket with wide eyes. “S-sorry,”

“I don’t think you were lame,”

“Nooo… I was…”

“Bokuto-san…” Akaashi began, hoping to steer the conversation in a different direction. “My hearing is going to disappear completely soon.”  
Bokuto looked directly at Akaashi at this statement, his eyes alert, large, and undeniably… sad.

“And…” Akaashi went on, clenching his fist under the table so Bokuto couldn’t see how hard he was holding back from crying. “I don’t want to be alone. I’m… I’m scared.”

Looking up at Bokuto, he smiled sadly. “I’m scared, Bokuto-san. Please…”

He swallowed thickly, trembling visibly now.

“Please don’t leave me alone.”

Akaashi had squeezed his eyes shut. The clock on the wall ticked on and on seemingly endless. The seconds, minutes seemed like hours, but Akaashi didn’t dare to take a peek lest he get rejected.

“…I’m not too annoying?”

Eyes still closed, Akaashi felt his lips curl upwards. “Not too much.”

“…too stupid?”

“You have your moments,” Akaashi paused, and upon hearing Bokuto shift uncomfortably continued. “But, you’re smart in your own way.”

“…too loud?”

“The noise is mostly welcome.”

“…the way I am doesn’t scare you?”

At this, Akaashi opened his eyes, immediately meeting the golden ones of Bokuto’s.

“Does the way _I_ am, scare _you_?”

Bokuto threw the blanket off his shoulders, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. “I… sort of. It scared me finding out you were losing your hearing.”

Akaashi gave a tired smile. “I can imagine. I was pretty scared seeing you like that the other day in the supermarket too.”

Bokuto withdrew slightly into himself, but gave out a small snort. “Guess we scare each other huh?”

“Yup, I guess that means that nothing has changed.”

Head tilting slightly, Bokuto gave Akaashi a questioning look.

“You’ve been anxious ever since we first met Bokuto-san, and I for one was amazed… and even scared at your athletic prowess. We were always scared of… something, but I suppose that fear has been heightened recently…”

‘Because of me.’ Akaashi silently added in the back of his mind.

Refusing to look the older boy in the eye, Akaashi took a deep, shaky breath before continuing. “I just don’t want to be scared AND alone, you know? I mean… we’ve always done this together, right?”

Finally, Akaashi turned to look at him and was startled to see the tears rolling down Bokuto’s cheeks.

“I’m… okay?” Bokuto blubbered, eyes leaking, nose dripping. “I’m really okay, Akaashi? You’re okay with me? Even though I can’t do anything right? Even though I bother you a lot? Even though I’m the one who hurt you?? Even though… even though??”

A lump formed in his throat and abandoning all composure, a strangled sob erupted from Akaashi’s mouth.

“Of course, you idiot. We’re in this together.”

\--

It was wintertime now.

It had been a few weeks since Akaashi had gone to see Bokuto at his house, but for Akaashi it felt like an eternity.

A few days after the visit, Akaashi had officially lost his hearing. He generally got by fine with his lip reading, but without the muted sounds to guide him along the way, he grew more and more disheartened at his lack of understanding in conversation.

The only constant in his life was Bokuto who refused to leave the younger boy’s side. Whether it was during lunch, after classes or over the weekend, Bokuto always popped in to see him, bringing cheer and happiness to Akaashi’s increasingly dreary and difficult life.

And it was definitely difficult for Keiji.

Sometimes he’d go on Hootube and watch videos on instrumental covers just to know that the rest of the universe still heard sounds even though his entire world was now silent. Watching the bar slide up and down in tune with the rhythm both calmed and upset him, his eyes darting across the screen at the little bubble that told him that yes, sound still exists, but unfortunately, not for you.

He was certainly not a morning person, but waking up to silence was unbearable. Going to bed in the quiet was also insufferable. Every waking moment of his life was hell, a perpetual torment. It was as if someone had knocked Akaashi down, laughed at him, and kicked dirt repeatedly into his face. Heck, even that would’ve been preferable to this.

He missed a lot of things.

The sound of birds chirping, the gurgle of the coffee machine in the morning, the sizzle of fresh vegetables steaming on the stove, melodious tunes flowing ever so sweetly from the radio on Sunday evenings, and especially now—the crunch under his feet when walking in the snow.

He missed being able to create his own melodies. Whenever the world cried out with sounds, he would respond with his own, through the strings of his violin. He’d pour his heart and soul into it, hoping, praying for an answer. His slender fingers had trailed over the cords soft, quietly, then with an intense ferocity that rivaled a storm, hand flying from note to note. But, now his instrument lay as lifeless as he, in the corner of his room collecting dust and bringing back nostalgic, yet painful memories.

He also missed volleyball a lot. The smack of the volleyball hitting the spiker’s hand. The short, ‘nice receive’s and ‘don’t mind’s that echoed across the gymnasium. The squeak of shoes as the team ran their drills. He missed it all. But, most of all…

He missed hearing Bokuto. Having the sound absent from his life, Akaashi knew he’d come to miss a lot of things, but he did not expect one of the things he’d miss most would be Bokuto’s low, rough voice. Not just that, but his voice in general. It was hard to feel confident, hard to feel strong, hard to feel as if things were going to be okay without that loud, clear voice ringing in his ears after every successful spike, after every meal eaten, after every anything ever. He missed the small things he never even noticed he knew before such as the way Bokuto’s breath got ragged and uneven after a long day at practice or the way he breathed in sharply upon spotting a stray cat or dog on the side of the road. The way he huffed and grumbled when he was trying to solve a difficult problem, the way he sighed in those rare moments of peace, and the million ways he yelled out Akaashi’s name.

At first, having Bokuto around was welcome. He had preferred it. I mean, Akaashi had literally told the older boy that he wanted to get through these hard times together. But now, having Bokuto there wasn’t enough. Having his physical presence didn’t mean anything if Akaashi still felt small, felt like some kind of burden in the face of Bokuto’s broad back, his toothy grins, warm embraces. The older man was surviving. He was making it out in life despite all the fears, despite all the insecurities, and Akaashi felt as if he were a weight that needed to abandon ship lest it sink into the bottom of the cold, unforgiving ocean of life.

He didn’t show any of this weakness to Bokuto, but Akaashi was actually quite bothered by this loss and spent hours awake in bed lamenting over it. Even though he generally got a few hours of sleep during the weekdays, the bags under his eyes were beginning to show, and his responses were beginning to become more short and irritable. Sometimes he even got frustrated with the attentiveness given to him by Bokuto and beat himself up over feeling that way which ultimately made himself feel worse overall.

This feeling of worthlessness and despair didn’t go away. In fact, it only grew and became even more prominent of a problem. Eventually he became the one who actively started to avoid his fellow teammate, making up excuses whenever Bokuto proposed hanging out, saying that he had too much homework or a test to focus on or a family outing. The mountain of lies piled up so high that it was nearly suffocating to even be around Bokuto without feeling a heavy feeling on his chest.

And this feeling of suffocation was a constant because there wasn’t a day he spent without Bokuto. Every day, Akaashi felt more and more the need to get out, to escape, and to leave the older boy to run forward instead of forcing him to walk slowly behind with a cripple who was caught up in the trials and tribulations of disabled life. He longed for something that he knew he could never have—something that he knew he had had in the past, but he had taken for granted. Akaashi had lost most of the joy in his life as a result of this hearing loss and he didn’t want to let his jaded condition affect a person he cared about deeply.

And yet, Bokuto’s compassion seemed unconditional. Whenever Akaashi got frustrated at his own lack of comprehension in conversation, Bokuto stepped in to explain the situation to him, making his words as articulate as possible. He was there to fill in all the gaps and refused to let go of Akaashi’s hand (much to the setter’s undying embarrassment) whenever they reached a busy intersection for fear the younger boy wouldn’t be able to hear oncoming traffic. He had even gotten himself a library card so he could check out ‘Sign Language for Beginners’ despite the fact that Akaashi himself offered to teach him the basics that he himself knew through his mother.

They were nearly inseparable and upon realizing this Akaashi grew very scared that he may become his friend’s biggest mistake.

\--

Bokuto swiveled around nearly resembling an owl with the angle in which he turned his head. He rolled over on the bed and stared at Akaashi from an upside down position before grinning and pointing to the text he was reading.

“Akaash, how do I say ‘Itadakimasu’ in sign language? The picture is kinda smudged for the hands,”

Akaashi looked back at him with tired eyes, a scarcely touched fruit yogurt in his left hand and a black plastic spoon in his right. Lately they had been spending more and more time together in Bokuto’s room and despite all the excuses Akaashi made to avoid this place, he always found himself back here in the end.

“Hey… what’s wrong?” he whispered, making sure his lips were clearly visible from where the younger boy was sitting.

Sighing slightly, Akaashi looked down at frozen treat in his hand and twirled the spoon around the top, making a circle pattern in the shape of a shooting range target. He dove the utensil straight down the middle with a ferocity that made the contents spill slightly.

“Bokuto-san, why do you bother with me?”

Bokuto frowned, sitting himself upright and sliding down the bed to sit next to the younger boy.

‘You said we’re going to stick through this together, didn’t you?’ he signed this time, making his hands visible, gestures wide.

“Not… that,” Akaashi mumbled quietly, staring blankly at the floor. “You have plenty of problems on your own. How are you so… strong?”

Bokuto blinked then rubbed his chin thoughtfully before responding with sign language, ‘Well, I guess I have to be strong for you which means I have to be strong for me too!’

Akaashi stared at Bokuto’s hands with no sign of registering. Then, slowly, he signed three words.

‘I feel empty,’ his hands falling limply to his sides after the statement.

Bokuto’s eyes grew large with concern, but he quickly shrugged it off and jabbed the younger boy in the ribs, signing, ‘Well, of course you do, you hardly ate anything, silly!’

‘I can’t feel anything,’

Bokuto’s hands paused, trembling ever so slightly. He seemed frozen in time as Akaashi continued.

‘…nothing at all, I’m sorry,’ Akaashi’s eyes looked glazed over. ‘I tried, I can’t do it, I’m not strong like you.’

Bokuto was shaking, watching with an unreadable expression as Akaashi’s hands moved rapidly, as if the left and right hands were engaged in recounting a tragedy. 

‘Empty, it hurts, stop, I want hear… I miss…’

“Akaash…” Bokuto breathed.

‘I’m sorry.’ Akaashi’s hands slowed down, hovered hesitantly in the space in front of him for a second, and then drooped as if they had served their purpose and were now no longer required, ready to be thrown away at a moment’s notice.

“I can’t feel anymore,” he whispered almost like an ominous prayer.

Suddenly, Bokuto lurched forward and started slamming his fist repeatedly on the coffee table causing violent vibrations. “YOU… YOU CAN FEEL THIS, RIGHT?? CAN YOU FEEL IT? HERE, I—”

Akaashi was pulled forward by his hands and his fingers were laid flat on the wooden exterior. “You can…!” Bokuto began, but swallowed the words dryly.

Bokuto started hitting the table again with his hand, this time signing to Akaashi, ‘You can feel this, right?’

Akaashi shook his head as large, hot tears started streaming down his face.

Bokuto looked around frantically and upon seeing the water bottle perched on top of his school desk, he made a leap for it and began to pour it over Akaashi’s hands. “WHAT ABOUT THIS, AKAASHI?? SHI—”

He fumbled, and the container’s entire contents came spilling out, drenching the front of Akaashi’s shirt and Bokuto’s pants. Bokuto looked down at the wet spot on their clothes and laughed slightly a miserable look on his face as he signed, ‘Please tell me you felt that.’

Akaashi couldn’t understand. He couldn’t with the words screamed out in garbled panic and the sign language shakily, crudely acted out. The older boy had only desperately yelled into ears that wouldn’t hear anymore. Akaashi didn’t know why the older boy was so upset, so riled up. He didn’t know what was going on or what Bokuto was trying to get at. The frantic look in Bokuto’s eyes scared him.

Shaking, voice cracking from disuse, Akaashi pleaded, “Please stop, Bokuto-san…”

At this, Bokuto silently slumped next to Akaashi on the floor, looking defeated, distraught. Akaashi didn’t know why he was crying. Why they were crying. All Akaashi knew was that he was done. There was no point in life anymore. He had had enough. This was the end for the both of them. For the younger boy, without sound, it was a fate worse than death.

Unexpectedly, Akaashi felt something against his hand. When looking down, he saw Bokuto’s hand slowly wrapping around his. He saw no point in complying, but he also saw no point in pulling away so he just waited, watched.

Bokuto brought Akaashi’s slender fingers up to his broad chest, gently placing the younger boy’s hand over the left side of his rib cage. They sat there in silence and Akaashi began to consider pulling away, but, before doing so, he soon noticed the steady beating of Bokuto’s heart.

‘Do you feel that, Akaashi?’ he signed.

Akaashi burst into tears, nodding over and over, ‘yes,’ and Bokuto in turn took one look at the waterworks on his kouhai’s face and began to sob as well.

‘I’m so glad,’ he signed. ‘I’m glad you can hear me at least. That’s all I need.’

Bokuto pulled Akaashi into a hug and they both lay there soaked, drenched, much like the first time Bokuto had found out about Akaashi’s deafness, but this time, they were sniveling with happiness.

After what seemed like hours, the door creaked open and upon looking over they saw a tray had been left by the entrance with two cups of tea in the middle.

Bokuto flushed a little upon realizing his mother had heard the whole ordeal, but pried himself away from his underclassman to set the drinks on the coffee table.

He sat down on one end and gestured to Akaashi to sit on the other. Without complaint, the younger boy did and the two both stared at each other through puffy eyes with snot-stained noses.

Bokuto smiled sheepishly. “I was kind of saving this for graduation, but…”

Akaashi returned the smile with his own. “You’re no good at waiting,”

At this, Bokuto pouted a bit, but looked relieved to see Akaashi had some of his usual pep back.

Seeing that the younger boy was okay, Bokuto closed his eyes, exhaled once, and shook out some of his nerves. After giving Akaashi one final look, he began to sign with his eyes closed, scrunching up his face in an attempt to remember the motions.

“K,” Akaashi began, recognizing that the older boy was trying to tell him something through sign and in turn, verbally repeated the letters that were signed to him. Akaashi’s voice, small, quiet, and broken rang out the single letter. Bokuto visibly relaxed knowing that the younger boy knew what he was doing and kept signing. “E-I-J-I.”

Akaashi’s eyes widened. “W-wait, Bokuto-san,”

Bokuto made a noise he knew Akaashi wouldn’t hear and shook his head resolutely, refusing to open his eyes. Akaashi smiled nervously, knowing that his upperclassman only signed out letters one by one instead of signing it all in a single sentence whenever he was under a lot of anxiety. Signing the letters individually helped Bokuto cope with some of the tension that would otherwise cripple him. There was a pause and then Akaashi swallowed, biting his lip. “Go on.”

“I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U,”

“You can’t,” Akaashi whispered. He watched the rest of the message with wide eyes.

N-O-I-S-N-O-T-A-N-O-P-T-I-O-N.

“That’s not…”

…P-L-E-A-S-E-D-O-N-T-S-A-Y-N-O.

“…”

…W-E-C-A-N-D-O-A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G-T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R.

“…I…”

…I-W-A-N-T-T-O-G-R-O-W-O-L-D-W-I-T-H-Y-O-U.

“I want…”

…I-W-I-L-L-B-E-Y-O-U-R-H-A-N-D-S-Y-O-U-R-L-E-G-S-Y-O-U-R-E-Y-E-S-A-N-D-Y-O-U-R-E-A-R-S-B-E-C-A-U-S-E-Y-O-U-A-R-E-M-Y-E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

A strangled sob echoed across the room.

…Y-O-U-R-E-T-H-E-O-N-L-Y-O-N-E.

The sob grew louder.

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U.

The last three words were signed multiple times, over and over unceasingly, getting faster and faster, but not losing its coherency. Finally, he signed one last thing:

F-O-R-O-W-L-W-A-Y-S-A-N-D-F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

Upon hearing a soft ‘pft,’ from Akaashi, Bokuto opened his eyes to see Akaashi’s nose had crinkled up and he was smiling from ear to ear, a few fresh tears rolling down the side of his face.

“Is…” Bokuto stopped abruptly and continued the rest of the sentence in sign. ‘Is that a yes, maybe? Dealing with me is hard, I know so it’s fine if you want to think about it…’

“For you?” Akaashi said, shaking his head at the negative side comment, a part of the heaviness lifting from his chest. He lifted his hands up to sign his response.

O-W-L-W-A-Y-S.

\--

“Koutarou?”

Bokuto looked up from the kitchen to where his boyfriend had entered the house, an expression of worry clearly etched on his features.

‘What’s wrong, Keiji?’ he signed, pointing to the dishes with gloved hands. ‘Mom is out so I’m just taking care of these, but I’ll be done soon.’

‘Okay,’ Akaashi signed back, a small smile on his face. ‘I’ll wait at the dining room table.’

Akaashi sat down, restless. It was a Saturday afternoon and graduation was next week. That wasn’t what had him so worried though because he was sure with how attentive Bokuto was, he’d see his boyfriend nearly every day. He fiddled with the keys on his bag before he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and looked up to see Bokuto looking anxious, but more or less happy to see his boyfriend during the weekend.

‘Please don’t get mad,’ Akaashi signed.

‘Why would I get mad?’

‘Just promise me,’

‘Okay, pinky promise!’ Bokuto made a cross motion across his chest and grinned. Akaashi smiled. As if it were easy to make Bokuto upset with him.

Breathing deeply, he pulled out a piece of paper from his bag and slid it towards his boyfriend, breath held in anticipation.

Bokuto read it from top to bottom before leaping up, hands clutching his head in disbelief. “WHAT?? WAIT, WHAT DOES THIS M—”

Quietly sitting back down, he mentally smacked himself for not signing that sentence, giving the younger boy a bashful look, but Akaashi felt his lips curl upwards, having understood the entire outburst.

‘It means exactly what it says,’ he reflected, feeling a bit abashed himself. He pointed to a statement written on the page before bringing his hands together again to sign. ‘Akaashi Keiji has lost his hearing from earphone abuse. Listening to music at high decibel levels caused his hearing to deteriorate faster than usual.’

Bokuto stared at the doctor’s report blankly.

“…Koutarou?”

Bokuto looked up at Akaashi, a smile growing on his face. “Keiji!!” He leapt up, bounding over to Akaashi’s chair and throwing his arms around him. “I’m so glad!! It wasn’t me, it wasn’t me!!”

Akaashi fought to suppress a giggle, but he couldn’t help it as his boyfriend rocked him back and forth in the wooden chair. “It’s my fault then, huh?”

Bokuto stopped abruptly, grabbing Akaashi by the shoulders and staring him straight in the eye. “Wait, no, it wasn’t your fault either!” 

“Then, who—”

“No one’s! Actually, wait,” Bokuto mused, his eyes lighting up again with the sudden lightbulb realization. “It’s the headphones’ fault!”

Akaashi snorted.

“No, really! Give me them! We’ll get rid of them for good!”

“I already threw them away, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said, assuming an air of ‘no-duh-I did-how-long-has-it-been-since-I-lost-my-hearing’ about him. “They were the ones I always brought with me to volleyball practice.”

“I never liked them,”

Akaashi rolled his eyes and separated himself from Bokuto’s strong grip, signing, ‘Ignoring you now.’

At this, Bokuto made a face Akaashi knew was associated with that familiar whine. The younger boy smirked and signaled to the stairs indicating he’d be going up to Bokuto’s room to study. Bokuto’s face immediately brightened at this and he nodded enthusiastically, running back into the kitchen to return the apron he was wearing and follow his boyfriend up the steps.

\--

Years have passed since the last time Bokuto and Akaashi had discussed the younger boy’s deafness. Akaashi had learned to not let his disability hinder him, coping in all the ways he could. The two both had mastered sign language, Bokuto labeling it as their ‘secret code’ much to Akaashi’s amusement. Although Bokuto liked to sign instead of talk whenever he was around his boyfriend, Akaashi often preferred Bokuto to be loud and vocal so that he could lay on his chest and feel every rumbling word he spoke.

Bokuto had been denied from the Japanese national volleyball team after graduating from college due to his “unstable emotional state,” but with support from his former classmates and his boyfriend, he became a well-known Olympic volleyball player after months of personal training. He didn’t have to work too hard to get accepted because his muscles were already conditioned through years of sports involvement. He still worked part-time every now and then at the grocery store in his hometown but mostly because he had gotten close to the storeowner and wanted to help out in any way he could. His presence there attracted many tourists who stopped by to ask for autographs, but not before being persuaded to buy a drink or other confectionaries.

Bokuto lived alone in a small apartment complex he had managed to get by himself with the money from work. Although his mother worried for him in the case he might have a panic attack, he had gotten much better in his university years and he only had a mild case of anxiety now. He invited Akaashi over often asking the younger man to strum a few chords on the violin for him despite his boyfriend’s protests. They sat together in the silence, Akaashi listening to the vibration of the strumming accompanied with the rise and fall of Bokuto’s chest. It was a calming activity for both of them. Given how often they spent time together there, Bokuto continued pestering Akaashi about living with him, but Akaashi retorted, reminding the older man that he was already dorming with Nekoma’s Kenma at school.

Akaashi was attending a university in Tokyo and his graduation date was quickly approaching. Bokuto’s enthusiasm was unmistakably noticeable as he constantly pushed his boyfriend with a million eager questions.

‘Are you excited, Akaash??’ he signed, several times a day. ‘If you’re excited give me a hoot hoot!’

Akaashi still had to survive the final exams along with his senior year project, but he couldn’t help sharing this excitement with his boyfriend and sometimes ended up complying with Bokuto’s demands. However, he still dismissed them more often in favor of studying, blatantly telling his boyfriend to celebrate with Kuroo if he was that hyped. Akaashi had a feeling Bokuto was up to something and he was going to find out on the day of his graduation if not sooner given the older man’s lack of patience.

The day finally arrived and Akaashi, relieved to have passed his last test with enough room for error, wasn’t at all surprised when he opened the door to the dorm he shared with Kenma and was met with a sudden burst of movement from a large group of people all mouthing (probably yelling),

“SURPRISE!!!”

Akaashi blinked as a shower of confetti from party poppers rained down him and he looked around to find that his old teammates from high school were there along with Kuroo, Kenma, and of course, Bokuto, all grinning widely at his entrance. They were all dressed up nicely in ugly sweaters, large jackets, and warm scarves with Akaashi’s coat laid for him on the leg of the couch in the background.

Akaashi smirked, bringing his bag over his head to lay it down on the floor. “Is this why you refused to walk me home today, Bokuto-san?”

Bokuto flushed visibly as the rest of the room burst into laughter. He mouthed ‘Keiiiiiji…’ through a pout as Akaashi giggled, reaching for the older man’s hand and squeezing it tight. In the midst of the room’s whistling and guffawing, Akaashi silently signed a thanks into the back of Bokuto’s palm. Bokuto beamed.

“HEY, HEY, HEY!!”

The room got quiet and all attention was directed at Bokuto who stood in the midst of the group, refusing to let go of Akaashi’s hand. Now Akaashi was the one turning red, but he looked down, allowing his hair to fall over his ears that were becoming a deep scarlet color. He tried to distance himself as much as he could from his boyfriend, but there was only so many steps backwards he could take while his fingers were intertwined with Bokuto’s.

“We’re going to go eat at Keiji’s favorite home-style restaurant!” The Olympic athlete yelled, bringing forth some cheers and hollers from the rest of them. “And I’m going to pay for everything!”

There was deafening applause as if Bokuto had just given the most riveting speech of his entire career. Kuroo had bust out his signature grin and was punching Bokuto in the arm while Komi followed suit and Konoha along with the other Fukurodani members laughed heartily in the background. Kenma didn’t scream alongside the rest of them, but came up next to Akaashi and gave him an all-knowing smile that said, ‘Congrats.’

Akaashi felt his heart swell with pride and he laughed along with the others although the chaos unsettled him because even in the midst of this liveliness, he didn’t hear a single sound.

 

\--

  
_“If he truly loves you, he will love you when you are an ocean breeze, but also when you are a summer storm. You were not made to be loved in parts, you were meant to be loved as a whole.”_ – Nikita Gill

\--

 

“So why wasn’t Kenma graduating again?” Bokuto asked in between mouthfuls of katsu.

“Dude, I told you already, his program takes 6 years to complete.” Kuroo growled around his chicken leg.

Closing his eyes and resisting the urge to facepalm, Akaashi mumbled, “Please eat with your mouths closed…”

Kenma looked up at this statement, shooting the two older men a look of disgust then looked back down at his gaming console.

Kuroo bolted for it, swiping it swiftly from Kenma’s hands. “Hey, who said PSPs were allowed??”

“Kuroo,” Kenma half-whined, half-grumbled, glaring at him and making a grab for the video game. “You’re going to get chicken on it.”

Kuroo sneered, waving the device above his head. “Kiss me and you’ll g—”

Kenma leaned over and planted a firm smooch to the side of his mouth and in the stunned silence, he managed to grab his PSP back from the taller man. Bokuto whistled from across the table and Kuroo blushed contentedly, grinning at Kenma who was proceeding to ignore the knowing gaze with a slight flush on his cheeks.

Suddenly, Kuroo turned back towards Akaashi and Bokuto and gasped out loud, pointing to the watch on his left wrist. Akaashi furrowed his brows, confused, but Bokuto started to visibly fidget.

“Bro, should we?”

“Y-yeah,” Bokuto replied, getting up abruptly. Akaashi looked up at him with an inquiring look in his eyes.

At this, Bokuto stretched out a hand for his boyfriend to take. Akaashi lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t object, standing up with the older man.

After excusing themselves from the rowdy table, the three of them stepped outside into the cool, winter air with the restaurant awning protecting them from the snowflakes that were drifting down steadily. The night sky was speckled with stars and given it was a Thursday, it was quiet out with not a person to be seen on the streets. Akaashi had a feeling he knew what was coming up and he fiddled with his hands nervously, but stopped upon realizing something, giving Bokuto a look.

“Wait,” Akaashi said, a hint of annoyance in his face. “Why is _he_ here?”

His eyes darted once over to Kuroo and the man in question grinned widely, but before he could speak, Bokuto answered for him.

“He’s your doctor!”

Akaashi stared at Bokuto with a blank look.

“No, I’m pretty sure, he’s not, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi sputtered, wincing slightly at his inability to keep his composure at that remark. “He literally just got his degree in nursing. I don’t think he’s particularly qualified.”

“I’m hurt, Akaashi,” Kuroo retorted, shoving a hand in his fancy pants, laying the other across his chest, and putting on a sad face. “I can be whatever I want to be. Isn’t that right, Bo?”

“Righ—”

Akaashi shot Bokuto a glare and afterwards, sent one at pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san for good measure. Kuroo smiled knowingly, but looked away, whistling as if he hadn’t seen a thing.

“Th-that’s not what I meant, Akaash,” Bokuto stammered upon regaining the younger man’s attention. “Here, I…”

He knelt down on one knee and Kuroo shuffled off to the side, swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet. Akaashi probably wouldn’t have liked for the insufferable bedhead to be there in his special moment, but beggars couldn’t be choosers unfortunately. He watched as Bokuto took a small black box out of his coat pocket and offer it to him…

Except, wait, it wasn’t small—it was quite large and imposing, about the size of Kenma’s gaming consoles with a little, silver buckle that latched on to the side of the rectangular box to keep the contents from spilling.

Bokuto sheepishly looked up at Akaashi and Akaashi wondered if he had gotten his hopes up for nothing and this was just another one of the bromance’s infamous pranks. He pursed his lips and looked around at his surroundings, refusing to look at the two older men, on the verge of crying.

Without taking his eyes off Akaashi’s face, Bokuto undid the lock of the case and opened it. He waited until Akaashi had mustered enough courage to look back down before breaking out into a smile.

Laying in the soft packaging of the case lay two white orbs with tails at their ends. Akaashi blinked and realized they greatly resembled not only earphones, but…

‘Hearing aids,’ Bokuto signed with his free hand.

Hearing aids. The words echoed in Akaashi’s head. He looked frantically from Bokuto’s beaming features to Kuroo’s grinning face and then back down to the gift bestowed to him so beautifully in its neat, black box.

‘Want to try them on?’

Akaashi nodded rapidly, his mind numb. Bokuto hoisted himself up and giving the box to Kuroo to hold, he took the two pieces out and stepped towards his boyfriend. Gently, he placed the right piece in Akaashi’s right, making sure it was firmly in place before moving on to the left.

‘So, we may need to adjust things depending on your sensitivity, but…’

Akaashi read the signing and nodded more slowly this time. Bokuto smiled, excitement clearly etched on his features. He leaned forward to change the volume on the buds.

“Wait,” Akaashi breathed, voice inaudible, only his breath coming out in puffs of white.

It was too late. He felt a motion against his ear and he knew the device was functional. He strained his ears, listening, hoping, praying.

Nothing.

He heard nothing.

Akaashi swallowed thickly, a fresh wave of tears collecting in his eyes. Bokuto’s hand hesitantly withdrew, hovering inches from his boyfriend’s face. Akaashi turned away.

Bokuto stepped back, unsure.

That’s when he heard it… the crunch of shoes on snow from Bokuto’s retreat. Akaashi looked up suddenly, looking at his boyfriend, emerald eyes to golden ones.

They both breathed deeply. Bokuto looked about ready to burst, but Kuroo stepped forward, laying a hand on his shoulder and shaking his head. Bokuto paused, then nodded and looking back at Akaashi, signed, ‘Can you hear?’

‘I don’t know how well I can,’

Kuroo nudged Bokuto. Bokuto dipped his head in acknowledgement, signing to his boyfriend, ‘Say something.’

Akaashi’s mind went blank. Say something? Abruptly put on the spot like this and he was supposed to say something? What is he supposed to…?

He took a deep breath, nodding. He knew what he wanted his first words back to be.

“Bokuto, I love you,” he breathed.

Kuroo’s eyes widened and Bokuto looked as if he were about to explode from joy, his eyes welling with tears. Akaashi was startled by the sound of his own voice, so clear, so concise in his ears, a bit husky from disuse. One of his hands trailed up to touch the hearing aid gently, running shaky fingers along the side of its sleek exterior.

“It works,” he whispered, head in the palm that was still placed on the device. His vision blurred and he felt something warm trickle down his cheek. “It works.”

Akaashi heard a strangled sob and looked to see Bokuto with his hands over his mouth, unable to hold back his cries any longer. “A-A-Aghhaaasshiii…!!”

Akaashi winced, the sound piercing his ears far too shrilly than he thought it would. Kuroo quickly slapped his hands around Bokuto’s mouth, furiously whispering, “You IDIOT, I told you he’d be sensitive after years of not hearing anything. CALM. DOWN.”

Bokuto nodded rapidly behind Kuroo’s grip. Then, he gave Akaashi a concerned look as if afraid he had blown out the younger man’s eardrums (for possibly the second time). Keiji smiled sheepishly in return, still a bit winded from the sudden noise. Kuroo sighed, releasing his hold and patting his friend on the back, shoving the black box into his arms. Then, he started walking towards Akaashi, keeping his footsteps light on the snow.

“Here, Akaashi,” he whispered, reaching for the hearing aids. “Let me adjust them for you. I’ll just take them and…”

Instinctively and defensively, Akaashi threw his hands around his ears and shook his head. Kuroo looked taken aback and Akaashi immediately flushed red at his own illogical behavior and bent his head down in respect. Kuroo snickered slightly, reaching forward to examine the white buds.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m not gonna take them from you or anything,” he chided softly, checking the settings for the left ear piece and then transitioning to the right. Pulling back, he continued, giving Akaashi a light smile. “Try speaking and adjusting it for yourself. Here’s the gauge…”

Kuroo led Akaashi’s hand to trail over the bar that traveled vertically over a range of tick marks. Following the motions, the younger man toyed with the settings, letting out occasional ‘ah’s and ‘oh’s in order to determine what he was most comfortable with. Kuroo showed Akaashi how to change the volume along with other miscellaneous features such as how to power the device on or off and explaining in detail the full uses of the microphone, amplifier, and loudspeaker. He also made sure to mention the battery life and describe the computer chip that made the entire system function correctly. Akaashi took all this information in and adjusted it to his own preferences without much difficulty.

Bokuto stood watching the two, fidgeting uncomfortably. Finally, he blurted in a fierce whisper, “No fair, Kuroo, let me talk to Akaashi too…”

Kuroo looked back at him and scoffed. “Dude, I have Kenma, I don’t need Akaashi.” He paused, glancing back at Akaashi and giving him a wink. “No offense.”

Akaashi snorted. “Your charm is irresistible.”

“Careful, Mr. Sarcasm,” Kuroo warned, smirking. “Your dry wit is showing.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes at this and focused his attention instead on Bokuto who was clutching the box in his hands with white knuckles. Noticing this shift in attention, Kuroo signaled he’d head off and slipped into the restaurant once more. The two saw him off and when Akaashi looked at Bokuto again, the older boy flashed him a forced smile. Akaashi laughed under his breath at this and made his way over to his boyfriend, every crunch under his foot music to his ears.

“Hey,” Bokuto breathed when Akaashi reached him, seemingly breathless, his voice a mere whisper in the wind. “Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi.”

“Hello, Bokuto-san,”

Bokuto pouted. “Why the honorifics again?”

“Apologies,” Akaashi replied, his voice hitching with emotion.

They stood there in silence. This time however, it was a silence Akaashi could hear, a silence he could gauge, a silence he was comfortable with. He breathed in shakily, a sob wrenching its way through his throat.

“H-hey, what’s—”

“God, I…” Akaashi let his head fall onto his boyfriend’s chest. “I missed your voice so much. I never thought…” He let the tears drip down his face onto the older man’s coat. “I never thought I’d hear it again… I’m so glad. I’m so so glad…”

Dropping the box, Bokuto threw his arms around Akaashi and held him tight. The warmth they felt in the embrace was like no other.

“I’m…” Bokuto choked, freely crying now as well. “I’m so glad it worked… I was so scared… _I_ was okay if you were going to be deaf forever, but I was so scared… I was so scared for _you_ …”

Akaashi nodded through his tears knowingly. The two cried their hearts out for all the pain and suffering they had endured up until this moment. After a while, however, Akaashi started giggling in their embrace, nestling in closer to the broad chest he knew and loved.

Bokuto began hiccupping and laughing in sync. Their laughs echoed through the dead of the night, Bokuto’s loud, proud, and genuine. And Akaashi… well, Akaashi felt safe.

\--

Bokuto had apparently been saving up for a hearing aid ever since he had gotten the job at the supermarket. Unfortunately, it didn’t pay well so he had to wait until he got a ‘real job’ as his mother would have called it. But, he had done research on the device and seeing as his best friend was going into medicine, he often asked Kuroo for advice. The two decided on a brand, fit, and make that they felt would suit Akaashi and steadily worked towards buying it.

Bokuto had brought up the purchase with Akaashi’s family members as well. Akaashi’s father didn’t seem to approve of the trivialities as he so called it, but his mother seemed grateful that his son had a friend who could help him through this difficult time. Akaashi’s older sister pitched in for the purchase, but it was mostly Bokuto who poured the sweat, blood, and tears into making his boyfriend the happiest man in the world.

And happy he was.

The two decided to head off early from the restaurant, footing the bill to Konoha. With a sly wink, Bokuto sent out a text message saying he’d pay the guy back later and although Akaashi rolled his eyes at this, he still took his boyfriend’s hand as they took a cab back to Bokuto’s apartment, Akaashi looking out the window at all the lights, listening to the low rumble of the car as it sped along the city’s empty streets. The world felt alive again.

They arrived at the complex and took the elevator up to the fourth floor, the ride up quiet, serene, and calm. Akaashi smiled upon hearing the ‘ding’ when they arrived.

Bokuto nervously unlocked the door, the jingle of the keys echoing in the hallway and when it was open, the two stepped inside together. They stood in the entrance for a bit before Akaashi asked,

“Why are you so nervous, Bokuto-san?”

“H-huh?”

“…you haven’t even turned the lights on.”

Bokuto sputtered, sliding his hand onto the wall, blindly trying to find where the switch was. Upon finding it, they were bathed in a sea of light and the two squinted in the sudden brightness.

Bokuto’s apartment was sparsely decorated. There was a small living room area with a rug that had a bunch of owl faces on it. On the rug, a single glass coffee table lay with movies strewn across its top. Next to it, there was a burgundy sofa facing a small television set on top of which small owl figurines adorned. Next to the living room the kitchen and the kitchen table were, but there was hardly anything of note in that area.

Akaashi knew that beyond the hallway that stretched past these two rooms there was a single bedroom with a large bed, Bokuto’s volleyball things probably scattered haphazardly along the floor. There was also a bathroom with a shower halfway down the hallway with bright, neon towels that Akaashi had begged Bokuto to get rid of several times.

Bokuto suddenly cleared his throat and when Akaashi looked up at him, he found the older man refusing to make eye contact.

“S-so,” Bokuto said stiffly, his arms pointed in the direction of the couch. “S-sit??”

Akaashi snickered, intertwining his hands with Bokuto’s. “Yes, that is what a sofa is for.”

They made their way to sit down and after settling there for a moment, Bokuto exhaled deeply. “Akaashi,”

“Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“…Koutarou.”

Akaashi smiled. “Yes, Koutarou?”

Bokuto shivered at the name, his nerves suddenly loosened. “I…” He took a deep breath still holding Akaashi’s hands in his, and looked the younger man straight in the eye.

“Marry me.”

Akaashi turned a deep red. “E-excuse me???”

Bokuto took his right hand and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, groaning slightly. “I know, I know, I don’t have a ring yet… The hearing aid was really expensive and that was the most important thing to me, but I promise I’ll get you a ring, it’ll just take a while, but I can’t wait any longer cause I need you, Akaashi.”

Akaashi stammered, at a loss for words. Bokuto grabbed both his hands again and squeezed them tight, refusing to break eye contact.

“D-do you need _me_?”

Akaashi stopped. He knew the answer already. He squeezed back.

“Of course.”

With newfound confidence, Bokuto leaned forward and their lips met. It was sweet, soft, but also exhilarating. Akaashi’s arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s neck and Bokuto in response ran his hands through the younger man’s hair. They parted, breathless, eyes glazed, fingers wrapped around each other in a loving embrace.

“Koutarou,” Akaashi breathed, a needy look in his eyes. Bokuto licked his lips.

Bokuto lowered his head to bite at Akaashi’s neck. Squirming in pleasure, Akaashi whimpered. “N-no, not here…”

Bokuto growled in response, a low rumble erupting from his throat. He threw his arms around his boyfriend and lifted him up, Akaashi wrapping his legs around the older man’s hips in response. Carefully, steadily, Bokuto made his way to the bedroom and lay Akaashi on the white sheets. Bokuto threw off his coat and sweater before pinning his boyfriend down on the bed.

“Not too heavy?” Akaashi asked, a light smile on his face.

Bokuto grinned. “Hey, hey, hey, who do you think I am?”

Akaashi’s nose crinkled in joy and he leaned upwards to peck at Bokuto’s nose. “The best.”

“You bet.”

Bokuto proceeded to undress Akaashi, taking off his coat and long-sleeved shirt in one swift motion. He stopped suddenly, staring at his boyfriend’s slim figure for a moment, entranced.

“Wh-what,” Akaashi murmured, his ears reddening.

“You’re… you’re beautiful Keiji.”

“Idiot. What’re you say—” Akaashi began, but yelped when Bokuto ran his tongue across the length of his abdomen up to his nipples. He threw his hands over his mouth, tears forming at the edges of his eyes.

Bokuto looked up. “Don’t cover your mouth.”

“But,” Akaashi huffed, words muffled behind his hands. “It’s… embarrassing.”

“Listen,” Bokuto said, taking his boyfriend’s hands from his mouth and kissing them. “Listen to everything.”

Akaashi’s lip trembled, but despite the unsteadiness, he nodded once and Bokuto smiled, breathing deeply, his hands trailing down the younger man’s body. “I can’t hold back much longer.”

Akaashi squeezed his eyes shut, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. He heard everything from the low, husky way Bokuto’s voice breathed when he was excited to the gentle trace of Bokuto’s fingers as it slid down his cheek, his chest, his legs. Akaashi felt his boyfriend’s hands on his hips, brushing past the bulge in his pants, teasing his crotch with soft caresses. He felt as if he were going crazy from the sensory overload. Akaashi whimpered, his hands instinctively raising to cover his ears.

“It’s too much,” he breathed, trembling.

Bokuto paused, hesitant. Then, with his left hand, he gently grabbed his boyfriend’s hands, running his fingers through the younger man’s hair with his right.

“Keiji,”

Akaashi opened his emerald eyes, meeting with Bokuto’s golden ones. The younger man was startled to see tears clouding his field of vision. He blinked once, twice, confused. Bokuto smiled sheepishly, pulling back.

“Sorry, too fast.”

Akaashi felt his throat tighten. He nodded.

Bokuto lay his head on top of Akaashi’s chest, sighing heavily. “Sorry… got too excited… first time with Keiji...”

Akaashi’s hands hovered tentatively above his boyfriend before coming to rest in brushing the strands of his unruly hair. “You’re okay,” he whispered.

Bokuto’s reply came from Akaashi’s breast, a breathy question, sincere and inquisitive. “Can I keep going? I’ll… go slower.”

“Slowly,” Akaashi responded, kissing the top of his boyfriend’s head. He wanted this just as much as Bokuto did. “We’re in this together.”

\--

Akaashi stared up at the white ceiling, a sense of dread falling on him.

He couldn’t hear anything. The unnatural silence hung over him like a death sentence, choking him, suffocating him. Had it all been a dream after all?

He breathed in deeply. Then breathed out.

Yeah, he couldn’t hear the sound of his own breathing.

He felt his eyes prickle and his throat tighten. He hadn’t had a dream about getting his hearing back in years. It hurt.

Akaashi pulled himself upright, letting the sheets collect around his legs. That’s when he noticed… this wasn’t his room.

He looked around, slowly recognizing the sports equipment on the floor to be Bokuto’s along with the items on the bedside table. One thing he noticed was his. The hearing aids.

They lay on the top, shining in the morning light, two white buds carefully placed next to each other. Akaashi started reaching for them when he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye by the door. He looked over and saw Bokuto standing at the entrance, a tray of breakfast foods in his hands.

‘Morning!’ he signed.

Akaashi smiled.

‘Morning,’ he signed back.

‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Bokuto signing, brought the tray over and lay it on the bed, a hand reaching out for his boyfriend.

Akaashi shook his head, then pointed at the hearing aids, rubbing the tears from his eyes. Bokuto grinned, walking over and picking them up before carefully inserting them into Akaashi’s ears once more.

“Better?”

Akaashi brought his head to his shoulders and closed his eyes, content. “Better.”

“Sorry,” Bokuto said, timidly. “I need to take them off when you go to bed.”

Akaashi nodded, visibly relaxing.

“Coffee?” Bokuto offered the mug on the tray to the younger man.

Gratefully, Akaashi took it into his hands, taking in the warmth and the smell. Taking a sip, he felt the drink instantly heating up his insides. He sighed.

“Perfect.”

Bokuto seemed beside himself with joy. He pointed eagerly to the rest of the contents on the tray: A half-cooked egg and bacon that was seared black next to a bowl of soup that looked oddly purple. Akaashi laughed softly, his nose crinkling up in amusement at the mere sight.

Without waiting for a response, he took another sip from his cup, smirking slightly. “At least you got one thing right.”

“Aghaaaaashii…”

Akaashi leaned over and kissed Bokuto near his mouth. The older man instantly perked up, humming happily to himself.

“I can’t wait to hear your violin for real,”

Akaashi blinked. “I didn’t play for you before losing my hearing?”

Bokuto shook his head, sitting on the edge of the bed and facing his boyfriend with a smile. Akaashi’s eyes softened and hiding a slight blush, he looked down at the steam rising from his drink.

“I love you Keiji,”

Akaashi flushed, a hand raising to cover his left ear. “S-stop,”

“Ehh… you liked it when I said your name last night?”

“That’s different,” Akaashi mumbled, hiding his face behind the coffee mug.

Bokuto tilted his head. “Is it really?”

The younger man brought his knees up to his chest to hide his embarrassment, setting his drink back on the tray. “I want to turn these aids off now.”

“B-but,” Bokuto said, leaning in closer, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. “You wouldn’t want to right?? Cause you said you love listening to my voice! I like your voice too!”

Akaashi blushed a deep maroon at the memory and buried his head in his legs. “I definitely want to turn it off now…”

“Aghaaaashii…”

Even though he knew his boyfriend wouldn’t see, Akaashi smiled at that. Without looking him in the eye, the younger man leaned onto him and they lay in bed comfortably together. Cradling his head in the crook of Bokuto’s neck, he signed into the older man’s chest.

‘Thank you,’

The words so simple, yet so hard to say, he gestured with his hands, with his entire body, with a tight embrace. Bokuto relaxed under the touch and bringing his own hands to Akaashi’s chest signed a reply that echoed through the younger man’s body, touching the very depths of his soul.

‘I love you too.’

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, a "legit" happy ending! XD  
> I was seriously debating on having the hearing aids turn out to be a fluke, but I wanted it to end nicely so there you have it! OuO/  
> Please listen to "Stand By You" by Rachel Platten for full effect. *flexes*
> 
> Please let me know if you see any typos or mistakes!  
> You can talk to me at my tumblr @greendoodle and on my twitter @tetsookie! :D
> 
> As always, **thank you for all your comments!** Honestly, whenever I'm in a slump, looking back at what people have said in the past really helps me write again. You guys are all a blessing :D More good ol' owl love to come!! *blows kisses*
> 
> ((Side note: Don't worry-- I haven't abandoned "Curly Locks and Smiles" I just need to get back into the swing of things! If you're already following that series, a huge thanks to you for your support!!))


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